Simply Carolina Dreamz » Stand For Something, WLS » Serious Confession

Serious Confession

My absence in this blog has a lot to do with a complete depression I’m experiencing. It all seemed to start when my father passed away, but that was because I made the mistake of going on an anti-depressant that severely started adding pounds to my body.

Supposedly those medications have been changed.

Last month, however, I thought that maybe I’m drinking too many of my calories and restricted myself in half of my regular consumption.

The result? I gained 20 pounds. 20 pounds!

This time, last year, I weighed 100 pounds less than I do today.

Since I am post weight loss surgery/gastric bypass and have reorganized insides, traditional diets are out of the question, especailly low carbing.

One of my doctors thinks that its metabolic and thyroid related. My therapist passed the same test my medical doctor gave me, and she has a thyroid problem. My doctor won’t send me to an Endo, that I desperately need.

I’m at my wits end. I know I will break down to see that scale hit 300 pounds again.

I share this with you because I find my audience mature and not shallow. The pain I’ve been experiencing since going over 200 pounds, again, has really interrupted my life. The rapid gain has interrupted my life and made my entire wardrobe, from last fall, four sizes too small. four! what the hell?

I’m finding it extremely difficult to find medical help for my pain, which is making any idea of exercise out of the question, too. I simply hurt too damn much to make dinner.

Last week, I had nerve ablasion surgery, to the left SI joint. I’m really hopeful this will give me some time free of the excruciating pain, but the regeneration of nerves is 9-14 months. If the nerves grow back problematic, I will do this again, no matter how painful the procedure really is.

It takes 3 weeks for nerves to die. I’m in that holding pattern, now, holding down my couch. I do hope for the best.

Meanwhile I’m very fat and miserable and will try to write more often about things other than that. Thank you for reading. I appreciate you so much. 

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