Simply Carolina Dreamz » 30 Days of Truth

30 Days of Truth.. Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Tweet We’ve reached day 30 and now the most difficult challenge. Dear Heidi, I’m very impressed with all that you take on to try to accomplish. You are doing a good job keep your studies straight and taking your prescribed medications on time. You’ve gone back to school and you are doing well in your courses. I love your integrity. I love how no one can sway it. I love how its the most important thing in your mind, about yourself. I love that you are a family historian and you learn about those that lived before you. I love that you share your knowledge with others and volunteer to help them, too. I love that you’ve scheduled a family history class and I hope that goes well for you. … Read entire article »

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30 Days of Truth.. Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.

Tweet My only major malfunction is the chronic pain I live in.. so I hope to do something about my back issues and help myself feel better. I’m going to seek out a surgeon and ask for a lot of advice. I could also lose 20 more pounds and be a little more comfortable. But, mostly, its pain reduction on the plan.. … Read entire article »

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30 Days of Truth.. Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

Tweet Well, the obvious choice is have a baby. At age 41, with my back condition, that would mean complete bed rest. I would probably cry for a while, while I adjusted to the idea. But there is no other option. Its all in God’s hands at that point. … Read entire article »

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30 Days of Truth.. Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?

Tweet Day 26 was just a blatant “no.” so we are here at Day 27. I have many things going for me right now, so choosing the best is really hard. I guess I would have to say that working on my degree, again, is a really wonderful thing I have going for me. Having my iron infusion and being properly medicated so I can function as a decent human being is a wonderful thing for me. I have three great kids, who know right from wrong, no matter what they choose. They know they were born with agency. I’m still a “mommy.” I have some terrific friends whom I adore. I’m blogging again and nothing is crashed. Life is good. … Read entire article »

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30 Days of Truth.. Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

Tweet This is going to sound bad.. but bear with me while I try to explain. I know the reason I am alive, today, is because I’ve seen attempted suicides fail, numerous times, as a child, and I’d never choose to hurt more. I am not suicidal.  I just know the way I’m not going out. I’d never leave that type of mess for someone else to have to endure. Maybe those are the blessings of the difficult and sometimes traumatic childhood that I had.  I never have to consider whether I would take my own life or not.  There is just no way.  I don’t trust that I’d succeed.  And that is not an option. I took on a responsibility when I became a mom.. a calling of sorts.. to be there for … Read entire article »

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30 Days of Truth.. Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs.

Tweet Katie Lynne, Matthew, and Morgan.  I am so proud to be your mom.  Thank you for all the time you try your best and do so much for me.  Life without you would be impossible.  I miss you when you are away.  I love you everyday.  I love you forever.  Love, Mom … Read entire article »

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30 Days of Truth.. Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.

Tweet I wish I would have continued my education when I still had more brain cells than I do today. Its been really hard going back to school at 41. I’m a learning coach to a high school student, too. And forget about all my business responsibilities. I’m tired all the time and I’m hoping this lessens as I make more hemaglobin and ferritin, since the IV infusion, last week. I have hope. I just have a lot of reading to do and my comprehension isn’t as good, today, as it was when I was 18. I should have figured out financial aid way back when. … Read entire article »

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30 Days of Truth.. Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life

Tweet I wish I hadn’t accepted three epidurals over 200 pounds in weight, when I had my babies. All of my back problems started with those epidurals. I don’t know what I would have done, instead, because having babies hurts and I firmly believe in drugs. When you are over weight, the epidural is done blindly. Its a hit or miss kind of thing. I don’t know if they do them via fluroscope today. I’d hope they do. But blind injection into a fat woman’s back is NOT a great idea if she wants that back to ever be better again. I was young. I would do it all differently at age 18, if I could go back. I’d still have these three wonderful kids, they just … Read entire article »

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30 Days of Truth.. Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

Tweet This question is kind of dumb. There, I said it. I’d go to the hospital to be with my friend and apologize for being in a silly argument in the first place. … Read entire article »

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30 Days of Truth.. Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.

Tweet This is another one of those topics that comes down to government control. Did you know that anti-anxiety drugs are available over-the-counter in India? Did you know that most antibiotics are over-the-counter in Egypt? Cox-2 inhibitors are OTC in Egypt, too. I think there are people whose lives are saved with the strict controls that we have. I think many people can’t control themselves. But, I find it sad that anyone who can is punished for that. I live in contant chronic pain. I spent many days in my bed. Many! I don’t want to live on prescription pain pills, again, but I am having a really hard time living with this terrible pain, too. So, I don’t know where the answer lies. I only have the option of pain management. … Read entire article »

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30 Days of Truth.. Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

Tweet I think I’ve already talked about how I feel about religion. Organized Religion is man-made. Politics? Well, crap. I’m a conservative preparing for the zombie apocalypse. I sit on the fence on many issues. I find very little honesty or integrity in politics. There are some good people. Its just on the rare end of the spectrum. I would have voted for Mitt Romney because he has the financial knowledge to help the deficit. He’s a businessman and they couldn’t find much dirt on him. I’m for that type of integrity. I think Politics is corrupt and if Romney ever makes it, I hope he doesn’t fall into it. Food Storage people. Start today. … Read entire article »

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30 Days of Truth.. Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.

Tweet I only have a few words to say about this. I think marriage and my body are none of the government’s business. Marriage is hard and if any two people can do it, successfully, more power to them. I believe in choice and accountability. Its not my burden to bear or worry about. … Read entire article »

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30 Days of Truth.. Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

Tweet I read a lot of books.. but hands down this would have to be Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach. Sarah has taught me how to care about me, again. She has given me hope that I’m okay and that its okay to take time for myself, too. The book teaches you how to have a toy box, a discovery journal, a comfort drawer full of wrapped gifts to yourself, for those days that don’t end. A Pamper drawer. It makes me look at jewel toned tissue paper, when I’m in the store. Silly, I know. But that’s what I love about this book. Its serious and yet fun. I gift it regularly. I, especially love the quotes at the beginning of each chapter, that is designed to … Read entire article »

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30 Days of Truth.. Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.

Tweet I could definiely live without all of my health challenges. I realize that they are much better, today, since after my weight loss surgery. But, I am still so limited. I’m bound to doctors and lifelong iron IV infusions and medications that I just hate taking. I have some good days, but mostly my illness is silent. No one really knows about it and I’ve even been harassed for using my disabled parking permit. Some people should mind their own business, eh? I fatigue very easily and I can go from very good to very bad at the drop of a hat. I try to keep going on my good days and not dwell on my bad days. But, I can go weeks in this bed and that’s irritating … Read entire article »

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30 Days of Truth.. Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

Tweet Can I say God? I have this love/hate relationship with organized religion.  I have a very low tolerance for hypocritical people.  I don’t want to be around people who ever act like they are better than I am. I don’t want to leave church, in tears, for the rest of my Sunday. That doesn’t seem very spiritual, to me, and its certainly not savoring any type of Sabbath. With that said, I do believe in God. I could never go live in an Ashram, like Elizabeth Gilbert, in Eat, Pray, Love, mostly because I’m too disabled to spend so much time on the floor, on my knees, or in solitude.  I find it hard to meditate, too.  My mind wanders and then I feel guilty. Religion is full of feeling guilty and that disturbs me. I … Read entire article »

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30 Days of Truth.. Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)

Tweet Dear Grandpa, You spent many years, loving my Grandma, enough, to take care of her unruly daughters, and her innocent grandchildren, whenever the call was needed. You were the only father that I knew, in daily life, throughout my childhood. You were my first date. You are my hero. We stood, in the hospital, and cried, when I shared Colin Raye’s “Love Me” and we cried a little and you said you didn’t know how you’d go on without her. Grandma died a couple of days later. You spent a lot of time with us in that following year. You grew very close to the great grandchildren but you had forgotten, during that year, to fill your pocket with tootsie pops, for them to secretly find. I didn’t blame … Read entire article »

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30 Days of Truth.. Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough a** days. (write a letter.)

Tweet This challenge is very difficult for me because I believe Music is Life. Every room in a home deserves a different genre.. just as every mood does. There isn’t much, in the music industry that I don’t appreciate on some level. I could write Colin Raye about “Love Me” getting me through my grandmother’s death and all the major changes in my life, that had to happen, in 1991. I could write to Alabama about how several of there songs built me into who I am today, but I think that would freak my heart out, too much. I could write to Reba McEntire, because my world has evolved through some of her songs. I could write to Tanya Tucker about “Strong Enough to Bend.” Or to Steve Wariner about “The Weekend.” but … Read entire article »

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30 Days of Truth.. Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.

Tweet This is a hard one. (No comments from the peanut gallery!) When I was younger, many exchange students called me “mom.” I’ve lost count to how many of them.. but there are times when I remember the special ones that shared my home, for their US visits.. and I think about how their view, of the world, was different than anything I could imagine. One of my Japanese students, wrote, in her first letter, before we met her, “My mother has a thankless job.” I thought about that for a good long while. Whatever word, they use, in Japanese, converts to “thankless” in English. Motherhood really is a thankless job. Its full of everyday things that can’t possibly all be complimented. You never hear, “Thanks for cleaning the toilet, … Read entire article »

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30 Days of Truth.. Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

Tweet My weight loss. I’ve lost a whole human being since 2003. I’ve lost 150 pounds and I don’t look the same at all. I find it a good thing when people don’t recognize me. I just shake their hand and reintroduce myself. I will never reach what someone else feels in my ideal weight and my BMI still classifies me as Obese, but I’m good. I’ll be good if I lose 20 more pounds too. Hopefully since this IV iron infusion, I can have more energy to move more, which will automatically work towards taking off more of that 20 pounds. Slow weight loss is your friend. … Read entire article »

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30 Days of Truth.. Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

Tweet Rebecca Hatch I miss you. I’ve lost contact with you because, geographically, we lived on opposite sides of the country. It started as a casualty to my move from California. But, then Rebecca and her sweet family moved to Texas. We each have new addresses that the other probably doesn’t know. Life is hard. This grown up thing is no fun sometimes. I hope you as well as you can be, Rebecca. *hugz* … Read entire article »

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30 Days of Truth.. Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like sh*t.

Tweet I’m going to go out on a limb and change this.. to a public apology. I’m going to tell you a horrible thing that I did to someone else. When I was 16-17, I had this awesome guy in my life and I made his life a living hell. I didn’t intentionally treat him like sh*t, but there were things that I did that are so awful to think back on now. I was a serious little Mormon prude when I was in high school. I was naive and misunderstood boys and a lot of everything else, too. Ron Vares III, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t braver. I’m sorry I wasn’t smarter. I’m sorry that our relationship was such a yo-yo to our adolescence. You did so much for … Read entire article »

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30 Days of Truth.. Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.

Tweet I have always taken my job as mother as an ordained gift from God. With having each of those babies, I was contracted to be responsible. I haven’t done the best of jobs. But, I’ve done what I could do, as the best, throughout the time I’ve been a parent. This parenting responsibility has been borrowed and lended to other people’s children throughout the years, as well. I am a mother. First. Who has made my life worth living for? Gabe Gracia, Tracy and Brandi Talbott, Christopher Niederschmidt, Brandon and Gabriel Gracia, and Katie Lynne, Matthew, and Morgan. … Read entire article »

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30 Day of Truth.. Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.

Tweet This is the easiest post, to write, of the whole series. I hope I never have to bury a child. It is not something any parent should have to do and my heart hurts for parents who have had to endure this overwhelming responsibility. … Read entire article »

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30 Days of Truth.. Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.

Tweet Someday, I hope to be keeping my health to a level where I can do more. I hope to be able to find a way to make living with back pain easier. I want to be able to have surgery, after finding a surgeon I can trust. My goal is to be able to sit, regularly, like a normal human being. With that simple ability, many more doors can open. My disabilities, today, are so much better than in the last ten years, and I am thankful. But, I want more.. and I’m going to get it. :) … Read entire article »

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30 Days of Truth.. Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.

Tweet I forgive you, Dad, for not wanting me to know you were ill.  I forgive you for going all those years, ill, and not wanting my help.  I forgive you for all those years, that I tried to be your daughter and it was inconvenient for you. I am blessed to have been there, to bury you. I will treasure that like every other moment I was given time to spend with you. I love you, Daddy and I miss you. Everyday. … Read entire article »

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